5 Reasons Why We Resist Setting Goals
1. Lack of Belief - Belief motivates behavior. Belief may stimulate or inhibit
action. We may resist setting goals because we really don't believe we're capable of stretching and growing; more so because we are conditioned by being cozy in our familiar comfort zones. What we say or think we believe is not always consistent with what we do. We sometimes do not have "goal sincerity," real commitment to our commitment.
We may lack self-confidence, belief in ourselves. However, we may also lack belief in a cause, a job, a partner, leader or boss. To better understand your behavior, just reflect by asking yourself what a specific behavior teaches you about your core beliefs.
2. Poor Self-Image - This one is no surprise. We live in a tear-down society where put-downs and insults are considered comedy or usual office behavior. Yet for praise and compliments we hunger. We glow when we receive positive words. Low-self-esteem is the cultural norm. Subconsciously we may fear not failure but our own power, our "big" self.
Try for a moment to remember an insult you've endured. Now try to recall a compliment. Isn't it harder to recall positive memories? Compared to more sublime, positive feelings, our brains have many more dopamine receptors, located in the hypothalamus, which alert us to negative feelings.
Our lower, reptilian brain, the limbic system is actually a built-in survival trigger. Negativity bias is natural. Conscious effort at thought control is required to really become a positive thinking person. Negative thinking is powerfully reinforced by the media which daily describes a world gone mad. However, I assure you that the sky is not falling. It is our belief systems that are falling.
3. Lack of Clearly-Defined Goals - Napoleon Hill, the father of success psychology, identified lack of goal-clarity as a one of the major reasons for personal failure. The better defined a goal is, the more clearly it is communicated to the subconscious. Once the subconscious mind accepts a goal as reality, often through repetition and reinforced by strong emotion, subconscious functions manifest, such as associating relevant ideas and creating a sensitivity to and awareness of positive opportunities in one's environment.
How does one define goals? First, goals ought to be in writing. Despite lack of scientific proof that writing goals down actually helps achieve them, we do know that the more senses involved in visualizing a goal, the better. Napoleon Hill described our imagination as the rehearsal hall where we can freely, creatively script all aspects of a goal, as if it were already won. Dreaming is a form of
planning.
4. Lack of Passion - Passion, is denoted as being passive, something that arises from within, such as having a natural passion for justice, singing, writing, music, martial arts, public speaking, cooking or whatever. Everybody has genius within them, as trend analyst Robert Kiyosaki claims, the "genie" in us. Kiyosaki claims that our natural passions express themselves when we're in the right, supportive, nurturing environment.
So what is your passion? Remember that when goals are held as believable and energized with real emotion, goal achievement is more likely.
5. Lack of a Positive Role Model - Literally, for ages foot racing the four-minute mile was thought to be impossible, even dangerous to the human body until in 1954 Roger Bannister broke the record at 3.94 minutes. Soon thereafter 24 other runners beat that record. Bannister attributes visualization to his absolute belief in winning, to his ultimate success. Seeing is believing and believing is seeing.
To achieve big goals hang out with positive role models, leaders, teachers, mentors who have done or are doing what you desire to do. You are capable of much more than you think. "Natural allies" may remind you of your greatness.
Attempt what seems "impossible" to test your limits. Be unreasonable to your rational mind.
Whenever strong emotions are associated with a goal, progress happens fast. To prove the point, consider the following train wreck story:
On August 2nd, 1985, a major highway reconstruction project happened super
fast following a head-on collision of two Burlington Northern trains in Westminster, Colorado along the Boulder Turnpike. The inferno was so hot that metal glowed orange for several days and could be viewed by passersby.
The train wreckage so dramatically affected daily commuter traffic that the reconstruction project, which involved removing many tons of twisted scrap metal, creating an temporary emergency bypass lane and rebuilding a ruined
overpass bridge, happened in record time. Officials aligned and agreed to first fix the traffic problem before handling administrative details, which usually would have required months of meetings, public hearings and such.
These five goal-setting failure points are major ones. Others will be discussed in the upcoming workshop January 31st in Louisville, Colorado.
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